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It's
a Family Affair!
A Family Carries in the Sacred Hoop. Left to right:
(Auntie) Vikki Rank; (Daughter/Niece) Natasha Edwards;
(Mom) Angie Shegonee; (Dad) Brian Edwards. |
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Sharing
Family Healing
The Entrance of the Sacred Hoop at today's event
was a family affair. The Hoop was carried by Mom, Dad, Daughter,
and Auntie. Everyone gathered around to watch them bring in
the Hoop and tie it carefully on the stand in the center of
the room. About twenty of us formed a circle with our chairs
to begin Wellbriety Day in Milwaukee by hearing from Don Coyhis,
Founder of White Bison, Inc.
"We have a council
of Elders that helps us with everything that we do,"
he said. "They told us that we could
not heal a community all at once. You have to go to the Medicine
Wheel Teachings. The Elders said, 'In the East is the Individual.
In the South is the Family. In the West is the Community.
In the North is the Nation. If you want to heal a community,
it must begin by individuals healing themselves. Once an individual
heals, then a family can heal, then the community, then the
nation. It must go in this order,' they said."
Don paused and seemed to think for a while.
Then he continued. "I think that
is true. I remember that when I first got sober, our family
didn't heal just because I got sober. My wife at that time
was in Al-Anon. I didn't even know what Al-Anon was. But I
remember the weekend that she started going to Al-Anon. My
whole world changed!! (*laughter*) I didn't know what was
going on, but when she put herself into healing, that's what
started it. That's what started our family healing. Over a
period of time we got into healing."
The
Wellbriety Tree of Hope
White Bison gets a lot of its ideas from the grassroots. The
Tree of Hope is an example of that. Don shared about how the
idea for the Wellbriety Tree of Hope came about.
"We got this idea from a child at
one of our conferences. What she talked about was making a
‘tree of hope.' We made these little White Bison ornaments,
and her idea was that every Christmas you put up a Tree and
you write your name on one side, and how long you're in recovery
on the other side. Then the community would walk just one
mile the first year. Then the 2nd year put up a tree and walk
2 miles. The 3rd year, walk 3 miles, and so on. This would
be a visible way to see how a community is working on their
wellness. We have 25,000 of those ornaments to give away.
So be sure to pick up a packet of those ornaments for your
community. You can also call our office to receive a packet
of these ornaments if you're willing to do something like
this for your community." (Call
toll-free 1-877-871-1495)
Don continued to share with the circle about
the Vision of the Sacred Hoop of 100 Eagle Feathers and about
the Journeys the Hoop has taken over the years. He shared
about how White Bison has held Recovery Conferences each year
in September during National Recovery/Wellbriety Month. This
year's conference in Albuquerque, New Mexico from September
18-21 will be the fourth conference. We also heard
about the creation and distribution of the Red
Road to Wellbriety book that is now available. Don
said, "We felt it was very important
that we had our own Native Recovery Stories. So in the back
of the Red Road to Wellbriety
book you will find Native Recovery Stories that deal with
domestic violence, sexual abuse, boarding school experiences,
and incest. We also have stories in there about the Two-Spirited.
Some call them gay, but we call them Two-Spirits. We have
their stories in there because that's our real world. All
of that stuff is real in our families and communities. We
felt it was important to have our stories in there. We tried
to make it as 'real world' as we could, so that if someone
read it they would see that recovery is possible."
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| The
Circle gathered to hear about White Bison,
The Wellbriety Movement, and the Journeys
of the Sacred Hoop. |
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Just as we were getting hungry and ready for
a break, the smell of great chili and fry bread filled the
auditorium where we were gathered. We took time out for lunch
and socializing. It was a beautiful campus where we had gathered,
so several of us took the opportunity for a quick stroll around
the campus of the Indian Community School before returning
to our circle. Once we had gathered back into our circle,
Don Coyhis introduced the next segment of the event, the documentary
video.
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| With
the Wisconsin Tribal Nations on a map in the
background, Don shares about the packets of
information, posters, videos, and other products
available thru White Bison. |
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After we watched the video, Healing
Native Women and Children, which
documented the 3rd Journey in 2002, Don shared with us about
the Gifts of the Circle. He told us that we can have these
Circles in our families and that family Circles are based
on growing thru conflict—conflict is a friend, not an enemy.
He encouraged the people in Milwaukee to form Talking Circles
within their families and communities: Circles of Recovery
and Circles of Healing. Then he asked if anyone had anything
they would like to share openly.
Sharing
From the Heart
Some of the people who shared after viewing the video really
touched our hearts. Here is a little of what they said—
Richard
"Thru the different 12 Step programs
and the Wellbriety Movement, they are showing us that where
there is more than one, where there is a group, where there
is a circle, so much more gets accomplished. Everything around
me is still the same. How I deal with it is the change in
my life. Without a program like this, I'm back to yesterday
and there is no tomorrow. As long as I do what I'm supposed
to do today, the wonder of tomorrow is still there. The beauty
of tomorrow can happen. If I continue with my yesterdays,
it is done, there would be no hope for tomorrow. So thanks
a lot, I'm glad you came here."
Maseline
"I didn't know what I was getting
into when I came here today. My friend told me this was going
to be a Native American Healing Circle, and I'm always interested
in that, so I came. I remember when I first went to meetings
and I would think, 'this isn't for me.' But they would just
keep telling me to come back. Gradually, as I went to meetings,
and my husband went to meetings, I learned that I cannot control
the way other people live their lives. I learned how to live
my life, not someone else's life. My life. My family and I
went to meetings together and we learned to live a life—a
spiritual life. Not in the ‘religion' way, but in a spiritual
way, finding ourselves and finding peace. Not blaming my Mom
and Dad for what they did. Not looking for someone to blame.
We have control of our own lives. How empowering and freeing
that was for me and for my family."
Billy
"I thank my Higher Power and you
for bringing this video to me. I could see myself up there
on that screen. I was one of the kids that was screaming and
running and hiding in the closet when my Dad would come home,
because I didn't want to be found. I swore I would never be
like him. And I don't know how it's happened, but to this
day my children have not seen what I went thru. I've abused
myself with alcohol and drugs, but never them. The fear is
still there for me. It's been a year that I've been sober.
The fear is still there. There's still a lot more growth.
I thank you so much for bringing this to me today. I knew
I was here for a reason. I'm just so grateful."
Steve
"Watching that video was tough. I
was the one they were calling the cops on. My kids were calling
the cops. And it's tough… it really is." (There is
silence as he shakes his head and then strokes the Eagle Feather
he is holding to regain his composure and strength to continue)
"My children are well adjusted, but for a 6 year old to be
dialing 911 and saying, ‘my father is choking my mother,'
that's not the way kids should grow up."
Brian
"I grew up in an alcoholic family.
I've seen the abuse—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
I was asked if I ever hit a woman. When I was drinking, I
don't know if I just blocked it out or didn't want to remember,
but I would say ‘no.' And I was corrected. There have been
more than a couple of times that I have… I have hit a woman.
It's part of my past. It's always going to be there. I've
got to look ahead now and pray to Creator that forgiveness
will be there. It's hard to talk about anything like this.
But it's nice, too, to get it off my shoulders. And when I
pray now I can say that I'm doing something about my life.
There is still some stuff I haven't been able to say to another
person yet. A lot of stuff I still carry around. But at least
this is a little step I guess. Now maybe I can move on to
that next step of my recovery and it won't be so hard now.
When I saw that video, it hit that spot in me. Like people
say, ‘we're not alone in this.' I'm going to show that video
to more than five people. It has that much impact on people.
Maybe it could change a life. Who knows? I'm going to watch
it again and share it. I appreciate you bringing it here."
Angie
"I want to thank you for being here
today. And it was good to see that video. It makes me think
about how much more I have to do to work on myself and my
family."
Roll
the Credits!!
Thank you to all of the people in today's circle. What you
shared with one another and with all of the people who will
read your words in this story or listen to your words on some
future video is what we need to heal ourselves, our families,
our communities and our nations. You are all heroes today
and you give us hope for tomorrow. We never quite know what
the focus of an event will be until it is over. Without question,
today's event began and ended with a focus on Family Healing.
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| Angie
Shegonee (left) and Maseline Albring (right)
check out the miniature replica of the Sacred
Hoop that was presented by White Bison to
Tom Parker (Coordinator of today's event)
on behalf of the Indian Health Center, Inc. |
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Don Coyhis and Amanda Manbeck presented Tom
Parker—the Coordinator of today's Wellbriety Event—with
a miniature replica of the Sacred Hoop of 100 Eagle Feathers
in appreciation of all of his work in getting this circle
together. We would also like to extend our appreciation to
Gerald L. Ignace, Indian Health Center, Inc. and Executive
Director Jone Stromberg and the Indian Community School. And
as always we honor and recognize all of the volunteers who
helped by bringing refreshments and cleaning up before and
after the event.
There is a monthly Native American Newspaper
called Urban Circle of Voices
available in the Milwaukee area.
We got a copy, in fact several copies while we were there.
It's a great publication. You can contact their office at
414-643-5510
or by email at urbanvoice@redpride.com
On the inside of the cover page was an ad for the ONEIDA Sobriety
Conference May 23 25th ! The Wellbriety Event is a part
of that 3 day Conference and is scheduled for May 23rd. It
was very nice to see it advertised in such a good way.
So now we are off to Oneida for our part
in the sobriety conference. But before we go we want to say,
THANK YOU MILWAUKEE!! for sharing your family healing with
us.
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| Preparing
for the closing ceremony in Milwaukee. Each
participant could offer tobacco and prayers
at the Hoop. |
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Vette Middleton
Richard Simonelli
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