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Bill
Iron Moccasin, Lakota Elder from Sisseton, South Dakota,
speaks about Making Relatives on a new video that debuted
on the Hoop Journey IV visit in Connecticut. In the
background is a Lakota Star Quilt.
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We started the day in the best way found in
years of traveling these Journeys—with prayer and the cleansing
smoke of the medicine plants. The Sacred Hoop Carriers wound
their way around the tables in the Conference Center of the
Hilton Mystic Hotel in Ledyard, Connecticut and placed the
Hoop on its stand at the front of the room.
Don Coyhis greeted the people who gathered here
for this stop on the Journey. The room was very large and
we pulled our chairs and tables closer together. We began
right away to get a feeling of belonging. Don looked around
at the people who had gathered for today's event, thought
about how we had come to this place, and said, "We
prayed about having the event at this location, and we said
to one another, 'there is some reason we are going to exactly
this place.' We didn't know why. We talked it over and said
‘we've got to go with it'."
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Don
Coyhis smudges Angelita Pine as part of Entry of the
Sacred Hoop. Angelita was one of the Hoop Carriers.
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Don's Sharing
There were nineteen of us, total, in an intimate setting that
allowed Don to speak his own gratitude about how we came to
this coastal place in Mashantucket Pequot country.
"White Bison has
received two grants from CSAT, the Center for Substance Abuse
Treatment," he said. "The first grant focused on
rural areas. During the second grant, we have been traveling
to urban centers. CSAT has fourteen field offices that are
called 'ATTC's,' or Addiction Treatment Technology Centers,"
he went on. "ATTC's have provided invaluable service
and support to the participants and gatherings during our
Hoop Journeys in 2002 and 2003.
We share this with
you today because we want you to know that this is not just
a White Bison effort, it's an undertaking of many individuals
and organizations who have contributed in an effort to help
us make this Journey. There are too many to name, but I do
want to acknowledge today the dedication to the families and
communities we have witnessed by members of Al-Anon. Members
of Al-Anon all over the country have come out to join with
White Bison in the spirit of Healing. They had a presence
at every event during last year's Journey—Healing Native
Women and Children. They have been present, supportive, and
freely offering their services and information at every event
during this year's Journey—Healing Native Men and Children.
We have found Al-Anon to be a vital link in the Wellbriety
Movement. Their contributions toward the healing of individuals,
families, communities, and nations is appreciated and honored
by White Bison."
Don spoke then about the guidance and wisdom
of the Elders that has been with White Bison from the 1980's,
and would soon become vivid right at this Gathering on a new
video. He said,
"The Elders who handed
us down these teachings told us that change must come from
within. They also told us that change and healing will come
first to the individual—then to the family—to the community—and
then to the nation. It must go in that order...the natural
order. Our Journeys follow
the Natural Law.
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Grand
entry of the Sacred Hoop in Connecticut. Mary McIntosh
(far left) carried the Tobacco. The Hoop Carriers are
Gina Reney, Theresa (Taffy) Perachio, Angelita Pine,
and Ann Bonin.
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"White Bison's first Journey was in 1999.
Our efforts were focused on the Medicine Wheel and 12 Steps
and creating Firestarter Circles of Recovery for the Healing
of Individuals. We held our First Conference in September
of 1999 following that Journey. The Conference was in Colorado
Springs, CO: Strengthening the
Individual. Our second Journey was in 2000. We walked
for 109 days from Los Angeles to Washington D.C. That Walk
focused on family issues and healing. So in keeping with the
natural law, our second Conference was held in Rapid City,
South Dakota and focused on Strengthening
the Family. Last year—2002—We went on our
third Journey, traveling West of the Mississippi River. That
Journey focused on Healing Native Women and Children. The
Conference that followed the third Journey in 2002 was held
in Billings, Montana and the teachings and workshops were
related to Strengthening the
Community. So this is our 4th Journey—Healing
Native Men and Children—and we are traveling the other
half of our nation—East of the Mississippi. The Conference
will be held September 18-21, 2003 in Albuquerque, NM, and
its focus will be on Strengthening
Our Nations."
A New Video Debuts
It was time, then, to introduce a "first" for the 2003 Hoop
Journey, and at the same time, to bring an Elder's presence
right into our midst. For the first time on Hoop Journey IV,
participants got to view a short video greeting by Lakota
Elder Bill Iron Moccasin and other men from his community
in Sisseton, South Dakota. In This video, called "Making Relatives
and the Roles of Men," Bill talks about how men can reach
out to children needing adults in their lives through adoption
and other traditional ways of making relatives.
Many among us were moved by the video. Readers
can get a taste of what Bill Iron Moccasin said by taking
a look at Volume
4, Number 2 of this Hoop Journey IV edition of
Wellbriety! Magazine. Just click the link above and then click
on "Lessons From the Old Culture."
The room was quiet when the video ended but
it was clear that people wanted to share what they felt. We'll
continue now with some of the sharing that afternoon in Mystic,
Connecticut.
Feedback About the Video
1st Feedback
"When Bill Iron Moccasin talked about the importance
of the relationships between the men and children of our Indian
Nations on the video, and he spoke of the cultural customs
of ‘making a relative' rather than adopting ,I found that
difference to be so powerful. To make
a Relative —you know exactly what that means.
You know what comes with that and the feelings that go along
with ‘making a relative'. Words are very powerful and I can
really appreciate the difference in the feelings between those
two terms."
2nd Feedback
"I used to work in a children's shelter. There were kids there...some
could not get ‘placed' and would live there until they were
18. Some were placed. These kids were like a throw-away. Literally,
one was thrown out of a moving car onto the parking lot at
the shelter. Eighty per-cent of those kids were there because
of alcohol and drugs in their families. Reading their charts—the
abuse would make me sick. The abuse they suffered... I couldn't
believe there was no one in the community for these children.
How reduced these children are. To rely on paid caretakers.
I have such a hard time believing that
there is no one for these children. Our children are Sacred.
But many of them are not being treated as Sacred because of
alcohol and drugs. And what they said about their fathers—either
they never knew him, or they saw him once for a paternity
test, or maybe a court case for child support. There are all
these children that are just literally thrown away. It breaks
my heart."
3rd Feedback
"When the young man in the video was talking about being able
to adopt children...it's so difficult today. All the legalities.
The paperwork. Everyone is afraid nowadays to do anything
with children because of the legal issues. Back then, everyone
was responsible for the children. Even if they had mothers
and fathers, other members of the community would adopt them
as their child, or niece, or nephew, or grandchild. We lost
respect for parents and grandparents in our culture and communities
for a while it seems to me. But in the last few years a lot
of that respect is coming back as we return to our traditional
ways. All the children want is a sense
of belonging and love. And they can sense—just as
animals can sense—whether you are good or not. That's what
the kids need today: People that are caring. People that take
them under their wing."
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Don
Coyhis shares some of the Teachings of the Elders just
before showing the Elders video with Bill Iron Moccasin.
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4th Feedback
"We need to raise our children with values. Even after
I was sober, I was trying to raise my four children and work
to put food on the table—and it is hard. They were ‘raising
themselves' while I was out working to put a roof over our
heads. The older ones in my home were actually the parent
figure for the younger ones. They fixed the dinners and did
whatever had to be done.
"Today I am fortunate because I have remarried
and my wife was brought up with strong family values. It is
difficult sometimes, though. As the family changed, the older
ones, who had the burden of the ‘parental role' in the home
during the times I had to be away at work, had a hard time
adjusting to the new family values. You
weren't like that Dad when we were on our own. I used to be
able to go out and do what I wanted to do. Run around... That's
what they say.
"The change is positive in our family, but it
is still change and there is always a time of adjustment and
testing. I just keep reminding myself that it was all I could
do at the time. But Bill Iron Moccasin's words are definitely
right about these ‘making relatives' issues. I fully understand
and appreciate what he says."
5th Feedback
Message to Dad from your Daughter
"I'm thankful for everything Dad. I wasn't thankful at the
time. I didn't understand or appreciate what you were trying
to do. I just felt like, ‘hey! we used to get to have a lot
of fun and now that's all changed, and he wants to be a family
after all we kids have been thru.' But it's been a couple
of years. I've grown. I've changed and I understand now that
you're trying to make it better for us. And you've done a
good job. I'm even thankful for the hard times and the times
before you got sober because everything we went thru made
us who we are today. We are a bunch of strong kids. We are
smart and we are strong. I wouldn't change anything. I love
you Dad."
They say the Gift Goes in a Circle—and
for us it did, when the last sharing comment was directed
back to ourselves—the Hoop Crew
Final Comment to White
Bison ‘Hoop Crew'
"When you first got here today, you said that you guys prayed
and felt like you were supposed to come here today for someone
or some reason. I'm that someone. I'm that reason. Thank you
for coming."
White Bison honors the Great Mashantucket Pequot
Nation in whose beautiful country this visit of Hoop Journey
IV took place.
Vette Middleton
Richard Simonelli
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